The first joke... ...is rarely the funniest.

In the true belief that the first joke is rarely the funniest, I decided to pick a joke at random and not worry about it's humour quotient:

Sadie and Mildred, two Newfoundland widows, were talking over a cup of tea:

Sadie: "That nice old widower Jimmy Tobin asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."

Mildred: "Well girl.... I'll tell you. He'd told me to get dressed up, so I bought a brand new dress. Then he showed up at the senior citizens just like a clock. An was he ever dressed! Fine suit, wonderful lining. And he brung me a big batch of flowers, Floyd never got me flowers!. Then he took me downstairs, and what's there but such a beautiful car.....I think it was a Ford, air conditioning and everything. Then he took me out for a supper.....Beautiful meal. Roast pork even, and lovely mashed potatoes with no lumps like usual in them fancy restaurants. And then he took me for a beautiful drive, you know how I likes drives Sadie. I enjoyed it so much I could just die from pleasure! So then we were coming back to the senior citizens, I invite him in for a cup of tea and into an ANIMAL he turned. Completely crazy, he tore off my expensive new dress and had his way with me two times!"

Sadie: "Oh my God, I'm glad you told me this...so you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him?"

Mildred: "Christ no... I'm just saying that if you go, wear an old dress.

Not a bad joke to start on... :-)

Enjoy.